See the damming evidence of mankind’s humiliatingly slow progress! You should be ashamed of yourself, using old out-dated technology. Upgrading all your technology every 6 months is the only way to keep your pitiful social standing above “outcast”.
No! That isn’t a cathode-ray tube monitor on my desk…. it’s uh… uh… uh… my aquarium! That’s where I keep my man-eating piranas for nosy visitors who ask questions.